Thursday, October 11, 2012

the winds are changing / change of direction

And today I stood up for myself. In a way that I had not dared to in 4 years. It is a little too early to report the details but I have a feeling that maybe now I can get my voice back. I have never before felt as voiceless as I did in the past 4 years. When I began a particular journey I began it with a strong voice, I was shaken from another life event, but I felt that I had a confident voice that was worth hearing.

I emerged from the journey that I had embarked upon muted, whimpering, voiceless. And it has been a mystery to me where my voice went, why I couldn't retrieve it, why I lost the strong path I had chosen for myself. With my voice I lost vision, too. Perhaps there are some among you who are familiar with the curious phenomenon of when you can not find your glasses and try to have a conversation while your eyes just can not really focus.. And for inexplicable reasons, it should be the opposite, but you just can not hear properly, you can't concentrate on the sounds and you can't focus your mind. All because of the absence of your spectacles that have helped you find the vision in your life.. It is always a huge relief when I relocate these absentee glasses..

Why it might be that I lost my vision as well as my voice? I am not sure exactly, I have theories, but I will leave these to mature a while and write more in another post. Have you ever lost your voice or vision? I would love to hear a little about your feelings and musings. Please be welcomed to post in the comments section.

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