I have found this quite useful and effective while feeling like life is a small boat sailing without compass or map to the stars on a rather wild and angry, stormy ocean..
It is a bit of a struggle keeping the momentum to produce enough and good enough drawings for my Ebay action and not feeling too disappointed when only the drawings I worked on for over an hour sell - often for just £1 or £2, for an hour's work or more. And it is hard to stay positive when things are trying.
I feel really stripped back by life's circumstances at the moment and am not carrying myself through this experience with the grace that I would like to. Slumping in a ball of tears is not my idea of grace.
But what about the positives?
Well I am pretty healthy for starters. I am being loved, too. Now these two are rather amazing in themselves. Also I have a feeling that this intensely unsatisfying and trying time in my life, which is stripping me back to bare bones might turn out to be somewhat akin to a forest fire. After which everything will grow with fresh exuberance. Maybe it needs a forest fire to begin a new life.
For now I am holding on to the old life despite it shedding around me like the skin of a ghecko in skin-changing season..
It is all so familiar.. Not the right fit anymore but do I dare let go? Kicking and screaming life changes me. I think just maybe for the better. Who will I become when the new skin grows? I don't know, I can't even imagine. I hope something very good.
1 comment:
Yes, change is painful. I need some change too, but am too scared of more pain xx
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